‘Married at First Sight’: Misery and Moon Water

Matt and Amber Married at First Sight

The Married at First Sight trauma level took a big upsurge last week.  It was difficult for fans to see, much less hear, Amber sobbing in the wee hours of the morning, wondering where Matt could be.  Jamie and Elizabeth were also at a crisis point, with Jamie leaving, coming home, and ultimately leaving a second time, as both he and his bride became toxic with personal attacks.

Dr. Pepper Schwartz swooped in with lightning speed to do a Married at First Sight intervention with the couples.  She didn’t mince words, either.  She made sure to convey that accountability was necessary on all sides to recover from the emotional wounds.

By comparison, Greg and Deonna are really doing things right and making strides in staying together.  Keith experiences the expected but still catastrophic loss of his grandmother, and Iris strives to fully support him and his family through their grief.  Personal issues in the bedroom become too personal for Iris, though.

Matt finally comes home on Married at First Sight

Matt finally makes his way home to his wife a few minutes after the 24 hour mark since he left the day before.   As if, he could not notice from her face, Amber lets Matt know that “I’m not happy right now,” and that his behavior is “not acceptable.”  There are a lot of “Ummm” and other such sounds on Matt’s end.  At first, he tries to shrug off his disregard for Amber as just part of his former life as an unattached man, able to do whatever he wished.  He then comes around to saying that the situation is “easily” fixable, which is another tough pill for Amber, who was made sick from the super level of anxiety.

Dr. Schwartz lets Amber know she is not holding Matt to enough accountability for this wrong, and she fully intends to make the new husband aware of the full dimension of his improper behavior.  Amber wants love so desperately, and she deserves to have that love respected and reciprocated.

Pepper Schwartz pulls no punches with Matt, saying that she would have “ripped him a new one” if she had seen him any earlier.  “Could there be anything worse?” she asks, reflecting on the fact that he knew about Amber’s abandonment issues, and yet chose to leave her for a full day, without so much as a single text or phone call.   “I hope he can become the man I hope he is,” relates Dr. Schwartz.  Matt left home at 16 and had little parental guidance or structure in his young life, centered around buddies and basketball.

Amber is ever-willing to forgive, again, and even refers to Matt as her “safe place,” after their talk.  Doubts arise again as the two answer questions from the fishbowl.  One is about their worst fears.  Matt responds that “growing apart” is his greatest concern, while Amber confirms that “getting a divorce” is ominous for her.  A fantasy suggestion from Amber is to have a massage from her husband.   This Episode 9 of Season 9 ends with Matt fulfilling that desire. Of course, Amber is lapping up the attention.   If only becoming really ready for marriage could be so easy.   Amber hinted at more looming issues in the Married at First Sight Unfiltered preshow with Jamie Otis.  Fans’ hopes are falling for this couple without drastic change soon.

Deonna and Greg keep moving in the right direction

Sure enough, Greg got the birthday surprise that he most wanted from his wife last week, and he confirmed that things got “very passionate” in the bedroom.   He is so patient and devoted, but he did drop hints that he would like some more definite indicators of his wife’s desires.  “I don’t have a list,” she insisted.  She said that she would rather her husband accept that “some things just happen” and don’t follow any formula.

It was absolutely darling to see Greg take care of his bride, who was under the weather.  When she said that she just wanted him to “let me die” the night before, he teased back that “you haven’t signed the life insurance policy yet.”

Just as he promised, Greg is breaking down her walls, and both partners are having fun in the process.  They played an intimacy card game. Greg was literally blushing with joy over the compliments that Deonna offered, concluding with “I love your heart.”  Her words were sincere and meaningful, and their session ended with a 7-second kiss, captured on camera.   Love doesn’t always blow like a firecracker.  One ember of unity can become a lifetime of love, and this couple is discovering that truth.

Keith and Iris enter the ‘Married at First Sight’ intimacy zone

Keith Manley relates early in their segment that his father gave him the news of his grandmother’s passing.  The matriarch was pivotal in Keith’s life and impacted his life choices greatly.  She was able to see her grandson and his bride at their happiest, on the wedding day.   Iris and her mother were instrumental in moving the beloved relative to hospice care.  Iris continued to let Keith know that whatever he needed, she was willing to do.   This couple has connected on so many levels, except for one.

Iris was very willing to hold hands throughout their session, as directed by one cue from the experts.  When the questions became more specific– very specific—about intimacy, down to preferred positions, the bride simply couldn’t cope.  Keith contended that seeing her “immaturity” in this area was “like being back in junior high.”  His frustrations seem to be rising to the surface, and Iris is feeling the stress.  She broke down when speaking about not being ready for the whole world to know her feelings on her virginity.  Over dinner, the discussion continued to delve into the subject.

Elizabeth and Jamie resort to cosmic healing for their crisis

Dr. Pepper Schwartz immediately went into rescue mode after seeing footage and notes from the Married at First Sight team.  The language, the name-calling, and the weaponizing of intimate details were so extreme that the therapist knew that an intervention was needed immediately.

Jamie admitted that if not for Dr. Pepper, he would not be at their apartment.  He slept elsewhere after the second blow-up.  Dr. Pepper implored that neither Elizabeth or Jamie should leave amid conflict.

They can go to different rooms or sleep on the couch, but neither should leave.  Leaving is a wound to the other spouse and conveys that relationship is disposable.  Elizabeth finds it impossible to think of one good quality in Jamie. This was because he told her he wanted a divorce before Dr. Schwartz arrived.

In individual sessions, she deduced, as expected, that Jamie did not want a divorce.  What he wanted were resolutions in their conflict and less personal assaults.  Dr. Pepper reminded that conflict had to be resolved with constructive and caring words. She said they need to center on something happening now, not on sins of the past.   He seemed to take those words to heart.

Dr. Pepper Schwartz didn’t take it easy on Elizabeth, either, describing how her verbal and emotional “attack mode” did nothing to help her feelings be heard.  The therapist scolded the bride for bringing up intimate matters in the middle of their fights.

It doesn’t take long before another explosion.  The couple takes a walk with the dogs, just to talk. Elizabeth describes that Jamie starts “dragging my dogs.”  Things escalate so swiftly that Elizabeth declares that she is “going home for the night.”  Remembering what Pepper Schwartz said, Jamie says “If you leave, I’m done.” He persuades Elizabeth to stay. They sleep in separate rooms.  By the way, the dogs stay perfectly cozy with Jamie on the couch.

The next morning, the couple makes “pinky promises” to not fight in such toxic ways.   That evening, Elizabeth does a Sage cleansing and moon circle ceremony. The ritual is complete with letting “moon water” charge overnight, to be ready to give fresh energy to the relationship in the morning.   Jamie has no idea if any of these cosmic connections mean anything, but he enjoys playing along, and definitely loves “the calm” that comes over his wife from their effect.

Jamie has hope for their relationship, as he told Jamie Otis, because “we keep coming back together.”  A relationship can only stand a certain number of times being shattered.  Let’s hope this couple can build on the good between them and learn the right way to handle the hard stuff.

Married at First Sight airs Wednesdays on Lifetime. Don’t miss new episodes each week.

Tresa Patterson

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