Colton Underwood Details Struggling With Suicidal Thoughts Before Coming Out

Colton Underwood/YouTube

Before Colton Underwood’s bombshell interview with Good Morning America, fans speculated on the topic of the interview. Many guessed either his mental health or his sexuality. Colton Underwood revealed that he struggled with suicidal thoughts while coming to term with his sexuality.

In an emotional interview with Robin Roberts, Underwood revealed his deepest secret: He is a gay man. 

It took a lot of self-reflection to get to that conclusion. During that time, Colton Underwood struggled with suicidal thoughts. What did he say about that scary time? 

Colton Underwood ‘Hated’ Himself For So Long

One of the biggest struggles Colton Underwood had to overcome was self-hatred. His interview with Robin Roberts dove right into his mental state during the last year. At one point in the interview, he said that he’s known he was gay from a young age. However, he refused to accept it and tried to convince himself he was straight. 

That included appearing as lead on The Bachelor and competing on Bachelor in Paradise. Us Weekly reports that he made a connection with Tia Booth on BiP. 

At the start of his conversation with Roberts, Underwood said, “I ran from myself for a long time. I hated myself for a long time.”

He then said the words he once “would have rather died than say”: ‘I’m gay.’ 

Former Bachelor Details Suicidal Thoughts

Colton Underwood was candid about his desire to die at one point in his life. He reflects on not wanting to be alive anymore. There was one incident where he “didn’t have the intentions of waking up.” 

He didn’t elaborate if he did something – or took something – in an attempt to commit suicide. 

But he credits waking up as his “wake-up call” that changed his life. 

His interview on GMA wasn’t the first time Underwood has opened up about mental health issues. He discussed his anxiety and depression in his memoir, The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV.

Colton Underwood’s sexuality was a huge topic of discussion during Season 23 of The Bachelor. Much of the conversation centered around him being a virgin at almost-30-years-old.

In fact, he admitted to having people thinking he was gay because he was still a virgin. He said in the past that such comments made him wonder about his sexuality. 

However, at the time he insisted that he was straight. 

After a year of reflection, he is finally being honest with himself and accepting that he is gay. 

How is Colton Underwood Feeling Now? 

That acceptance has been a weight lifted off Underwood’s shoulders. He got emotional during his GMA interview, but he called it “emotional in a good way.” 

He described himself as the “happiest and healthiest” he’s been in his life. The dark cloud hanging over him has been lifted by coming out. Underwood acknowledges that telling people he’s gay is part of the process to self-acceptance. 

Were you surprised at all by Colton Underwood’s vulnerable interview? Share your thoughts with us in the comments down below. 

Jennifer Havener
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